Certain things you hope as you enter adulthood you hope you outgrow. The unfortunate reality is that sometimes as you age,
those things from your youth you hope to escape continue to stay attached to you...
For me it's shyness. Some people who know me would be flabbergasted by this but the truth is - its all a mask. Before I became a Mom I drank to work through awkward situations. Now I over compensate. Like lots of makeup. Matching... Talking way too much or not enough.
At my worst point I would turn as red as a tomato and go silent. Now I over explain or avoid the situation entirely. Worse I start to look for the negative, so that way when the worst does happen it doesn't hurt that bad.
So tonight I went way out of my comfort zone & went "out" with someone. For the most part I held it down. Then he told me I was beautiful more than once. So badly I wanted a shot of anything. Compliments are hard for me & to be told I'm beautiful. I don't see it. Especially when it's from someone who I deem is playing for the majors & I feel I'm in the farm league.
At what point do you hear and believe what others are saying about you? At what point do you believe you're more than what you think and stop blushing?
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